Breastfeeding...My Musings

Breastfeeding is hard – especially in the beginning. It can be hard to feel coordinated while doing it, hard to endure pain, soreness and hard to give of your personal space and time.

My baby is now 3 months old. I am b.f. her. So I feel qualified to give my up-to-date opinion while I’m experiencing this myself. Please keep in mind it’s just that – my opinion.

A lot (and I mean A LOT) of pressure is put on new mothers to b.f. It has gone way too far in my opinion.

Well-meaning doctors and nurses preach it and make mothers feel that if they don’t choose to b.f., they are making a very poor choice – to the point of making one feel like an inferior mother.

I breastfed all of my babies except the fourth. I did b.f. her for a month and then discovered that she seemed less colicky and spit up less when I gave her soy milk.

So I stopped the b.f. I felt happy, relieved and free…and guilty for these feelings.

Why oh why should a mother have to receive scrutiny over something SO personal?

Babies can and have grown up strong and healthy and happy on formula for YEARS!

I was a bottle fed baby.

I felt so relieved when I stopped b.f. my fourth, because it was causing a huge emotional burden at that time in my life.

I had four children ages 6 and under.

Every time I sat down to nurse, someone else needed me (usually my 2-year-old needed to potty)! And on top of that, my baby would spit up and cream at the belly-ache nursing caused.

Still, I found myself justifying my decision to friends and total strangers that didn’t ask and didn’t care.

I was worried about what they were thinking when they saw me using the bottle.

Me: “Hi. My name is Emma and I bottle feed my baby.”

Group (simultaneously): “Hi Emma”

I guess my point is, all of you bottle-feeding mothers out there—STOP FEELING GUILTY!

Its no one else’s business and you ARE a good mother.

You gave of your body to bring this child into the world. And now you’re still giving unselfishly of your time, day and night, to raise this child and to make her safe and happy.

It doesn’t matter that Le Leche League keeps calling to check up on you. It’s YOUR decision.

What works best for you and your baby?

That said, I will tell you that I AM b.f. baby number five.

I have mixed feelings and emotions about it.

My time is still in high demand.

But my other children are older now and are learning to help each other. My 7 & 8 year-old have been especially helpful.

I’m also in a more stable emotional state. But that’s a topic for another day…

Sometimes it’s hard to sit down and nurse when I’m looking around at all that needs to be done at my house.

But I’m persevering and I’ll tell you why in a minute.

Right now, here are my top 5 benefits of b.f. and my top 10 disadvantages of b.f.

BENEFITS OF BREASTFEEDING:

5. An excuse to get out of doing dishes
4. The satisfaction of providing completely for your baby’s needs
3. Convenience – no measuring formula or warming bottles at 2 a.m.
2. Cost effective – it’s FREE!
1. It makes you take the time to sit down and enjoy time with your baby

DISADVANTAGES OF BREASTFEEDING:

10. Wearing nursing pads
9. You’re always on the clock when you leave home without her.
8. Saggy boobs…
7. Still can’t sleep on your stomach
6. Engorgement
5. No one else can take a turn feeding her.
4. Leaking
3. Thrush
2. Mastitis
1. OUCH, OUCH, OUCH!

I realize that not everyone has the same experience with b.f. And you’re probably saying to yourself, “Sheesh, b.f. is so easy, she’s such a whiner.” You’re probably right.

So now you are wondering, "If you have so many “disadvantages” of b.f., why do you do it?

Because those 5 little “benefits” to me, far out-weigh the “disadvantages.”

I get so busy and distracted sometimes that I’m afraid I would go the whole day without stopping to look in my baby’s eyes and tell her that I love her and get to listen to her coo and smile at me for a bit.

It’s waaay to easy to prop a bottle so I can finish the dishes or a project that really doesn’t matter as much as spending time with her.

I’ve probably offended some or all of you by now. If so, I’m sorry.

But I guess what I’m trying to say is, do what works best for you and your baby.

Don’t breastfeed because you feel pressured into it. If you do, it will always feel like a chore. Breastfeed because you want to.

If you bottle feed your baby. You may get condescending looks and comments. It’s the way society has trained us. Don’t pay attention to any of it. PLEASE remember you are a good mother.

To everyone else…PLEASE MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!