Picky Eater?

My first child was a horrible, terrible picky eater from the time he started eating solids until he hit about age four.

His desired diet consisted of peanut butter & honey sandwiches, cold cereal, oatmeal and instant mashed potatoes (with no gravy).

This was a very stressful time – for both of us.

I was extremely concerned about his health. I mean, no meat, fruits or vegetables! This couldn’t be healthy!

So every mealtime was a struggle.

He would cry and I would try to force him to eat the foods I thought he needed.

It was miserable.

One thing I didn’t take into account while stressing out about my picky eater was that he was a very healthy-looking and acting kid by any standards.

He was always above average on the doctor’s growth charts and he did drink plenty of milk if nothing else.

It’s too bad that the first child in the family has to suffer while we parents learn as we go.

In retrospect, here’s what I’ve learned as the mother of a picky eater:

1. No one wins in a food fight. By the time I would let our son leave the dinner table, we’d both be in tears. I’d be frustrated and he would go to bed resenting me and would be no closer to liking the proposed food item.

Forcing food down his throat accomplished nothing.

2. Take away the milk – sometimes. I gave him plenty of milk throughout the day via sippy cup and with meals. After all, it was one of the healthiest choices he would willingly take.

If I could have a “do-over,” I would give him a drink only part way through his meals and would never let him carry his cup around throughout the day.

By the time he got to dinner, he was so full of milk that he wasn’t hungry, even if by some miracle he did like what we were having!

3. You have to try everything at least once. This is now the rule of the house. You might not like how it looks or smells, but you HAVE to try it at least once.

My part of the bargain is that I will never make them try anything that could kill them. (We have no known food allergies here). Most of the time they try it and, to their surprise, they actually like it.

Also, we don’t run a cafeteria around here. If you don’t like what we’re having for dinner, I’m NOT making you something else. Find something in the meal that you like.

If tomatoes make you gag (and they do still make him gag), pick them out, but you have to eat everything else.

4. Never use food as a punishment or a reward. Let’s face it, we have enough food-related issues in our society. Most of these probably started at home. Teach your child to “eat to live” not “live to eat.”

5. Don’t stress about it. This accomplishes absolutely nothing.

Your child is not going to starve himself to death.

He’s not the only child in the world to be a picky eater.

When he gets hungry, he will eat!

My son eventually grew out of his food-hating habits. And I wouldn’t even classify him now as a “picky eater.”

He now eats meat and most vegetables. He still hates all fruits (it’s a texture thing, I’m tellin’ ya!). But he will drink fruit juice. He also eats all versions of potatoes.

He will now willingly try anything I put on his plate, with the understanding that he’s not going to have to eat it if he hates it.

I stressed out for all those years for nothing!

I realize now that trying to be the perfect parent only pushed me farther in the other direction.

The power struggle is over. And I feel so free…